Episode 2: The first breath

Reading No Death, No Fear was like being seen for the first time.

Not by another person — but by something deeper.
It spoke to a part of me that had always been there but was buried under years of worry, ambition, and unconscious living.

I didn’t fully understand everything in the book, but I didn’t have to.
All I knew was that I wanted to live with more awareness, to stop missing the life that was happening right in front of me.

One morning, I tried something new.
I sat on a chair in the garden, watching the trees and flowers, listening to the birdsong, and enjoying the wind as it touched my skin.

Breathing in. Breathing out. Then came the thoughts — of what had happened.

At first, my mind wandered everywhere — to my son’s recovery, to work, to regrets. But each time I caught myself drifting, I gently returned to the breath.

It wasn’t peaceful. It wasn’t easy. But it was real.

For those 30 minutes, I wasn’t trying to fix anything. I wasn’t planning or solving. I was just being.

That morning didn’t change my life in a dramatic way. But it planted a seed.
A tiny, silent seed of presence.

And like all seeds, it needed care. So I kept coming back — not every day at first, but enough to notice a shift.

Sometimes I would just walk around the garden, or lie in bed watching my breath.
Sometimes I would place my hand on my chest during stressful moments and return to my body.

These were small things. But in a world spinning fast, they felt like acts of rebellion — like reclaiming my own life.

That was the beginning of my practice.
Not a perfect beginning, but an honest one.

And from that first breath, the journey continued…